By Dr. Catherine Reynolds
“I can’t function without him.”
Does this sound like you or someone you know? If so, I TOTALLY get it. Think about it like this, when you were a child, you were completely reliant upon your caregiver for survival. You needed to be clothed, fed, sheltered, and loved by someone other than yourself. So it only makes sense that as you aged, you came to expect those same things from romantic partners. It’s natural to want your partner to comfort you and make you feel better. Unless we’re taught to care for our own needs, then we will continuously look to others to meet those needs.
Anyone who can relate to the saying above knows that needing someone else to function is a very unsettling place to be. Challenge yourself to develop a loving relationship with yourself. What does that look like you ask? Check-in with yourself regularly about what you’re needing and respond accordingly. Celebrate the highs and prioritize yourself during the lows. After you’ve developed a solid self-care routine that does not depend on others, that’s when you’re ready to add a partner into your life to enhance every aspect of it!
Struggling to be independent? A therapist can help you learn to be more self-reliant and find your independence.
